What does it mean for most of us to feel overwhelmed much of the time?
We want to feel okay. We feel not okay. We want to feel safe and confident and relaxed. We feel none of these. We want to plan for the future. The present feels scary and many of our possible futures feel unthinkable.
There are virtues and characteristics we wish to embody: presence, discerning, thoughtfulness, calmness, honesty, unconditional positive regard, and agape. Each of these feels ephemeral when we know not when the next stimulus may spiral us into survival mode. Our awareness narrowing only to safety, safety of self, family, tribe.
Others depend on us, and we depend on them. As a circle, a village, a community, we can bind ourselves to each other to be strong.
We can survive as a hierarchy, only when we think of each other. Specifically, a leader’s strength can be no more than their empathy with those they lead. Being led by one without active empathy for you, feels like riding a mechanical bull. Leading others while riding a bull oneself is absolutely subjecting them to chaos. You can do it, but people are getting hurt.
What can we do?
We can ask, “what is mine to do in this moment?” We can show, “I trust you.”
I trust you to meet your needs and to do what is yours to do.
We can love each other. We can love ourselves.
We can lead with questions:
How can I help?
How shall we do what is ours?
You are safe and okay, what do you need to be more than okay?